Sometimes, what feels overwhelming and complicated can be broken down into bite-sized pieces that will fill you with new energy and vitality.
When you are unsafe it becomes difficult to stay grounded and present, to think of creative solutions for whatever is happening, or to connect with your Soul. Let’s break down the three most common ways humans experience being unsafe, how that presents in your physical body, and how you can bring yourself back to a state of safety and connection.
Shifting from fearful and anxious to safe and connected becomes manageable when understood. Feeling safe and connected is vital to engaging more fully in your life. In this post, I break down 3 different ways you as a human can feel unsafe, and a simple 3-step process for recognizing the signals and shifting back to safety strengthens bonds with yourself and others. You will trust your “gut,” and this will bring you a sense of confidence.
Knowing how to shift from feeling fearful and anxious (unsafe) to safe is an inside-out job, and it starts with these simple steps.
Physical Safety
Physical safety, on the surface, would seem obvious to discern. However, depending upon your life experiences, especially those from early childhood, it is common for the brain and body to signal that you are physically unsafe when you are not, or the reverse. The unconscious reaction triggered by your nervous system depends on your past experiences and how (and if) you were protected.
Your body is programmed as your first line of defense. Your brain and nervous system start interpreting safety early for you, even in utero. These systems utilize programming like a computer uses “data sets.” When events that look anything like unsafe events occur later in life, it will fire this information into your system.
While your system’s patterning of safety has been a decades-long, complicated progression, you can start feeling safe differently with a few simple approaches that help break old patterns.
- Notice: Respect your body’s signals even if your mind wants to distrust them. Rest your hand on the areas of your body that have strong energy.
- Breathe: Sounds overly simple, but you’d be surprised how many people struggle with pulling a longer, deeper breath into their lungs. When you do this, you are soothing the safety portion of your vagus nerve to slow your heart rate and lower your blood pressure. Stay put with slow, deep breathing until you feel a shift in your body.
- Listen: If you slow down and listen, your body will send you information. This is the symbolic, energetic communication that your body (that encases that Soul energy) is sending to your mind. Your brain will want to pull its own data set and categorize it but just hold the space, through breathing, to let the symbolism be the main driver of information.
Emotional Safety
While you can physically see violations of your physical self, you can only sense violations of your emotional self. This is why being intentional about listening to your body’s cues is vital. While these are emotional violations, they will be felt in your body, so use the steps outlined for Physical Safety above to build on.
Your body holds the key to your higher Soul energy and your strongest intuitive information. Spiritual energy combines with your physical energy to provide awareness that is wiser and deeper than your linear, logical mind.
- Notice: When someone says or does something that feels wrong, the energy in your body will shift. You may feel an inner sense of “yuck” or a tightening, burn, or block, particularly in the abdomen. Unfortunately, society conditions you to override these cues. However, as you learn to attune to and honor these subtle and powerful messages, you’ll gain the ability to stay connected and in your truth. Slow down. Be curious. Notice if you want to dismiss this. Stay with the energy.
- Listen: While breathing is the next step to instill safety in the body, in a situation where your emotional safety is threatened, becoming more deeply curious about the experience can help you understand the situation more accurately. Where is it? How does it feel? Place your hand on it.
- Ask: What does this information want to tell you? You will hear the response if you are patient in the stillness.
Spiritual Safety
Your inner world is sacred space, and only you can give it meaning. Others impressing upon us through guilt and shame how we should think or feel is a common violation that plays out in many organized religions, cultures, and families. When a person dismisses your beliefs or tells you that you are wrong, they are attempting to decimate your individuality, almost always out of their own fear.
Even if you choose to participate in an organized belief system, you get to interpret your own spiritual discourse. You also get to make the room psychically to discover what that feels like and for it to evolve. Having room to form your inner world is vital. It may require some deep boundary work, as boundaries are the key to feeling safe.
- Notice: There is a lot of shame spewed when a person tells someone their beliefs are wrong. Shame is not an emotion. It’s an energy intended to dominate. You can feel this in your body. Notice where this hits, because it is a psychic hit.
- Act: Put your hand over the energy. Remove yourself from the conversation if you can. If you feel inclined you can speak and tell them, “It’s unfortunate you feel that way.” Nothing more. No arguments about what beliefs are better ‘lest you do the same shaming of them.
- Release: That shaming was not your energy. Release it. Blow it out of your body if you need to. Walk it out. Even take a shower with salts to rub over the energetic wound.
Always remove yourself from a situation that you perceive as unsafe. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. You only owe it to yourself to honor your and trust your own experience.