Thinking is a habit.
You might not even realize it, but most of your thoughts are just recycled stories from your past. What was once a real event in your life has turned into a well-worn narrative, replaying over and over to satisfy some need you might not even be aware of. Maybe it’s a desire to be heard because you weren’t listened to as a child. Or perhaps it’s a need to feel in control during a time when everything was out of your hands.
When you respond to these imagined threats, you’re not actually in the present. You’re in the past, re-living the fear and agitation, and the people around you feel the fallout. Sound familiar?
This cycle of overthinking triggers your body’s stress response, fooling your system into thinking it needs to fight or flee. But there’s nothing to run from, nothing to fight. So all that stress sits in your body, messing with your health, piling up as layers of stress-induced fat, slowing your metabolism, and making you feel constantly on edge.
Break free from the thinking trap.
The way out is called metacognition, which is thinking about your thoughts. It’s a process of stepping back and asking, “Why am I thinking this way?” Once you do that, you can catch negative patterns before they drag you down. You start to see that there’s a gap between what you think is happening and what’s really going on. In that gap, you have power. You can choose how to react rather than operating on autopilot.
Metacognition also helps you tune into your body—your heart rate, your breathing, that tight feeling in your stomach. It lets you check in and say, “Hey, what is really happening here?” This awareness can shift your whole day. You can start to notice when you’re being driven by subjective thoughts—emotions, personal biases, or past traumas—rather than objective facts.
Once you start observing your own thoughts, you can spot the unhealthy patterns that keep you stuck. Are you someone who sees everything in black and white? Do you jump to the worst-case scenario? Do you think you know what others are thinking? These patterns are like traps, keeping you from living fully in the present.
Here are some of the most common:
- All or nothing: “It’s either perfect or a disaster.” This mindset can wreck relationships and opportunities.
- Catastrophizing: “If this doesn’t work out, I’m doomed.” This leads to chronic stress.
- Mind reading: “I know they’re judging me.” This creates conflict and mistrust.
- Labeling: “That person is always like that.” This fuels prejudice and division.
- Discounting the positive: “I got lucky this time, but it won’t last.” This feeds negativity and hopelessness.
- Shoulds: “I should be doing more.” This makes it impossible to relax and enjoy life.
- Personalizing: “If they’re not talking to me, I must have done something wrong.” This mindset keeps you feeling like a victim.
To break free from these traps, start noticing your thoughts and how they make you feel. Give yourself a moment to breathe and rethink the story you’re telling yourself. This pause is where you regain control. It’s where you can choose to be kind to yourself and those around you.
Shifting your thoughts changes your life, and it starts with that one moment of awareness.